Idiot of the Day - July 11, 2006

A man in Portland, Ore., is suing Michael Jordan for $416 million because, the man says, he's often mistaken for Jordan and he doesn't like it. The dolt, whose real name is Allen Heckard, told a Portland TV station, "I'm constantly being accused of looking like Michael and it makes it very uncomfortable for me." Apparently it takes $416 million to make Heckard comfortable. Actually, double that. Heckard also wants $416 million from Nike founder Phil Knight for making Jordan one of the most recognizable men on the planet, which presumably has added to Heckard's discomfort exponentially. If only he'd looked like Dickie Simpkins.

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