Thursday, March 31, 2005

Idiot of the Day

An employee of a store took a box that contained a $19 clock and emptied it. He then walked around and put the following in the empty box: Two T-Mobile To-Go cell phones, a Playstation video game memory card and another Playstation item, all totaling $163. He then walked up to the cashier and paid for the $19 box.

He was detained by the security person and was charged with theft by shoplifting and released on a copy of charges pending a preliminary hearing.

Monday, March 28, 2005

Various True Stories From the Web

Breaking out of the men’s room

Sudden chaos erupted at a sports bar when, just before 2 a.m., the manager heard loud banging coming from the men’s room.

He rushed in to find a man standing next to an extensively damaged bathroom stall, door, wall and lock. The man said that he found himself locked in the stall and did what he had to do — which was kick his way out.

The manager requested that the man take care of the damages, to which the man said no. The man only got as far as his car parked in the lot.

The officers found him sleeping in the car. They awoke him and charged him with criminal damage to property and released him (not to drive) on a copy pending a May 5 court date.

Hey, you’re no salesman!

The resident was at his apartment around 11 a.m. when he heard a knock. He looked through the peep hole and saw a man standing outside the door. He assumed the man was a salesman, so he ignored the knocking and sat down.

A minute or so later he heard what sounded like prying at the door. As the resident stood watching, the man outside pried the door open and walked in the apartment.

After a short but very awkward moment, the burglar turned and ran. The victim chased the man down the street. He and some bystanders cornered the suspect and called police.

Food fight

Two women got into a fight over the cooking critique one made to the other while preparing dinner. The offender told the victim to pack her stuff and get out. The victim refused, so the offender put her finger in the victim’s face. The victim shoved her away. The suspect grabbed a butcher knife and walked toward the victim.

The victim locked herself in the bedroom and called police. The offender stabbed the door several times before the officers arrived. She was arrested and taken to Fulton County jail.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

Stomach X-Ray Foils Apparent Jail Escape Plan

A stomach X-ray appears to have foiled escape plans by an inmate serving time in the Santa Cruz County jail.

During a sweep of the high-security wing of the facility, Jose Angel Juarez set off a metal detector.

Deputies weren't sure what was causing the detector to go off, but knew the cause was coming from the inmate's midsection.

An X-ray showed that Juarez had a handcuff key measuring an inch and a half in his stomach.

Jail officials don't know where Juarez got the key, but believe he was going to use it to try to escape.

Juarez, 29, is being held on a series of charges over a carjacking incident in December 2003.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Spring Breaker Falls From Balcony During Spitting Contest

A college spring breaker from Iowa was seriously injured when he fell from a balcony during a spitting contest in Panama City, Fla., according to police.

Brooks McLaren, 19, of Hazleton, Iowa, was on the second floor of the America Best Value Inn about midnight Sunday when he leaned over the railing, lost his grip and fell onto concrete during a contest to see who could spit the farthest, said police Maj. David Humphreys.

McLaren suffered head injuries and was listed in stable condition Tuesday at Bay Medical Center's surgical intensive care unit in nearby Panama City.

Balcony falls, sometimes fatal, are a common hazard during spring break, but police say this year has been relatively safe so far. One other fall resulted in only minor injuries at Panama City Beach, one of the nation's top spring break destinations.

"We used to have falls daily," police Lt. Jeff Heath said. "This year's spring breakers are the most behaved I've seen in 15 years."

Last year, two spring breaker visitors were injured in balcony falls here, but both survived.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Just trying to look pretty

Security officers at a store observed a man take and conceal the following items: Sixteen packs of batteries, five packs of Cover Girl makeup, three packs of Cover Girl lipstick, one bottle of Listerine mouthwash, a watch and a shirt.

He was detained and later arrested on a copy of charges. Either this guy has girlfriends or issues.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

Teen Sends Student Semen-Frosted Brownies

A teenager has agreed to admit to three counts of disturbing the peace after anonymously sending semen-frosted brownies to a fellow student. The recipient shared the treat with two other teens, police said.

They said the 17-year-old Coeur d'Alene High School student was upset after a prank in which the other student put peanut butter in his cheese sandwich days before. He told a school resource officer that "he hated peanut butter and it made him more mad than he could explain," according to the police report.

The teen later told School Resource Officer Jeff Walther that he got the idea of putting his semen on the brownies from the movie "National Lampoon's Van Wilder," in which characters send pastries filled with dog semen to a fraternity house.

The student was arrested and booked into a juvenile detention center. He has since been released on a judge's order that he has no contact with the students who ate the brownies.

The youth is to be sentenced on April 4 on the three misdemeanor counts, which are each punishable by up to 90 days in detention, prosecutors said.

The victims' parents were notified and the children were tested for anything that could have been transmitted through the body fluid, although Panhandle Health spokeswoman Susan Cuff said the chance of the students' health being affected would be "extremely remote."

School Superintendent Harry Amend declined comment on any school discipline against the teenager.

Thieves in Ohio Steal Empty Safe

Thieves broke into an agency that serves the poor and made off with a safe. The only catch — the safe was empty.

"It is really quite comical," said Susan Simpkins, director of the Fostoria Bureau of Concern. "It was very heavy, and they did us a favor by taking it."

She said the agency had wanted to throw out the safe but it was too big to move.

The thieves entered the agency through a back door after it closed for the day on Feb. 28 and took the safe, which was in the office.

They did manage to grab a small amount of money from the office's petty cash supply, police said.

Man Loses Fingers in Quest for Girlfriend

A Los Angeles man who sneaked into Canada in February to see his Internet girlfriend will be deported -- minus all his fingers and some of his toes, the Winnipeg Sun newspaper reported Tuesday.

Charles Gonsoulin, 41, will have the fingers and toes amputated because of severe frostbite suffered during a 100-hour trek from Pembina, North Dakota, across the border to Emerson, Manitoba, where he was found wandering on a golf course on Feb. 23, suffering from hypothermia.

"It is better to have loved and to have lost than never to have loved at all," the Sun quoted Gonsoulin as saying. "It was all worth it for me. It's the difference between sitting around dreaming about things and going out and getting them."

Gonsoulin and the Canadian woman met in an Internet chat room in 2002. The woman lives in Quebec, Gonsoulin's lawyer, Mike Cook, told a court hearing. Quebec is about 2,500 kilometers (1,600 miles) east of Manitoba.

Gonsoulin could not enter Canada legally because he was convicted of robbing a Pizza Hut in Arkansas in 1984, the newspaper said.

His girlfriend could not afford to travel to Los Angeles, he told the Sun. So he took a bus to North Dakota where he crossed the border.

"Mr. Gonsoulin didn't really know that there was any place on Earth that could be so cold and so inhospitable," Cook told a court hearing Monday, adding his client had never felt temperatures colder than 10 degrees Celsius (50 F).

Temperatures dipped below -26 C (-15 F) during his long hike.

Gonsoulin is receiving medical treatment in a Winnipeg jail. He still has not met his girlfriend face-to-face but they have spoken on the phone and Gonsoulin said they are still in love.

No deportation date has yet been set.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Girl shot by her boyfriend during 'bedroom activities'

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette

A 17-year-old McCandless girl was accidentally shot by her boyfriend Sunday while the two were engaged in "bedroom activities," police said.

Timothy Madden, 23, of Ross, was charged with aggravated assault, reckless endangerment and corruption of a minor.

The incident occurred just before 1 p.m. at Madden's residence in the Chateau Perry Apartments at 951 Perry Highway, said Ross senior detective and public information officer William Barrett.

"They were engaged in some bizarre activities in his bedroom," Barrett said. "The gun, we believe, accidentally discharged."

The girl, who, as a juvenile, was not identified by police, was wounded in the groin with a .45-caliber handgun and was taken to an undisclosed hospital.

Man cuts off, eats own penis

Zamboanga City, Zamboanga del Sur, Philippines -- A man ended up in a southern Philippines hospital Monday after severing and then eating his own penis, hospital officials said.

Ernesto Almonte, 40, was in stable condition at the Zamboanga City Medical Center, emergency room staff told Agence France-Presse.

They could not confirm a report by local radio station DXRG that the bizarre act was triggered by an erectile dysfunction problem.

Asked about the patient's mental state, one staff member said: "If you cut your sex organ and then eat it, then something is wrong with you."